Tuesday, July 22, 2008

reverse culture shock

it happens.
i've never been more afraid to go home in my life. not because i don't know what it will be like physically, that is easy, it is the spritual part that i'm afraid of. what awaits me at home? how can i make this experience count for more than just some cool stories? what attacks will the enemy make towards me? am i ready? will i continue in my walk of obedience at home as i did when i was away? it all bounces around like a ping pong ball at the mercy of a hyperactive kitten. basically, a lot of questions are floating around in my mind as to how coming home will affect me and how it can have an effect on my oikas (circle of influence). every act of obedience means something to father, and i want him to become more known because of my acts of obedience towards him. to help put an end of the famine that is not of food, but of of hearing his name, not in my own strength, but through his all sufficent strenghth.
these are the things that i'm pondering at 10:55 pm (that's 4:55 PM home time) in the beautiful
land that i was sent to.
-JC

2 comments:

Readyrocks said...

Have faith in the Lord and trust in him whatever way you go. i believe in you and i know that in whatever you do, the Lord will be with you!

"Whatever you do, work at with all your heart as working for the Lord. Not for men."

prying for you!

rebecca

Readyrocks said...

Tell Him all that you feel. Maybe go on a prayer walk. :) I know how you feel, even though I was only in Peru for 10 days. I was thinking yesterday how my gaze has slowly turned back inward. This song really got me the other day. I hope it blesses you too, sweet friend. I love you so much. And if you'd like some accountability, just let me know. That's what sisters in Christ are for. Praying for you love. <3 Rachel.

Chris Sligh - Empty Me
From the album Running Back To You

I’ve had just enough
Of the spotlight when it burns bright
To see how it gets in the blood
I’ve tasted my share
Of the sweet life and the wild ride
And found a little is not quite enough
I know how I can stray
And how fast my heart could change

Empty me of the selfishness inside
Every vain ambition and the poison of my pride
And any foolish thing my heart holds onto
Lord, empty me of me so I can be filled with You

I’ve seen just enough
Of the quick buys of the best lies
To know how prodigals can be drawn away
I know how I can stray
And how fast my heart could change

‘Cause everything is a lesser thing
Compared to You, compared to You
‘Cause everything is a lesser thing
Compared to You, so I surrender all